A letter from February 11th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, I know that by this date you will be nearing valentines day. I don't know if you will have anyone. I don't know if you will be as sad as you are now but if by some chance you do receive this letter I hope and pray that you will be in a better place. I think if it weren't for Pedro I may be happier but then again there's always something. Its not that I don't like him its just that it puts stress on me and i say stuff that sounds stupid and I look back and think wow i really said that was an idiot. But then again he makes me happy too so there's not much you can do. I'm so f tired of going back to the same stuff and i just want to breathe clearly for once. If your reading this hold on because summers coming ik i don't know what i might be going through in the future but i really hope that there's some way you can get through it. Focus on yourself for a while please and try and be happy because your not young for long. Get right with God please please please. I sound dramatic but its how i feel. Ig your turning 15 soon.. wow. Never forget to make the most of summer and running through fields and cooking and writing and water fights and breathing fresh air and being in nature and listening to music super loud (Hopefully not sad music). Just live please you don't have to be happy just BE. take that risk though... be that girl you were too nervous to be. And I guess if your in the same position this exact day next year I've got nothing except you should watch your favourite show and listen to my YouTube playlist called 'play loud in your feels music' by then it will probably be nostalgic. Oh and if you and Pedro were ever a thing then congrats but if you've broken up watch fate stay nite he loved that show. Yeah, yeah you can laugh but i need to prepare for any situation. Hopefully the virus is over and your doing great. Work out please please but if your chubby GIRL U still BEAUTIFUL. Please work hard but yk im not a very good example having muted the teacher listening to never be the same writing this depressing message lmao. I cant think of much more to say, but please renew your relationship with God and help your friends too if you have any. Psalm 86:3. don't ask its a random verse that popped into my head that i hope will be relevant. So.. i guess this is goodbye for now? you got this :) From Tia (past self) look mf if you dont check your email or get a knew one im gonna be HELLA mad. ok. see ya