A letter from October 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hey, I'll give you a little rundown of what's going on right now. I have court on the 15th where I testify for the first time. I decided to start visitation with Amanda again. I will no longer live with the Vaughns on November 1st. I still have therapy with Josh. I am on Zoloft still. I self-harmed a couple of days ago. I just deactivated my old Instagram, Facebook, and Gmail. I feel numb but also happy, I don't think that I am truly processing everything. CJ is in a shelter doing great, he called me three times in a row. I'm trying to finish up school so I can graduate next year. I haven't looked at colleges yet, and I'm contemplating joining the Air Force when I get out of high school. Now I have some questions 1. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? 2. Is your relationship with Amanda good? 3. How many years did Spencer get? 4. Rate your anxiety and depression. 5. Are you happy? 6. What's a goal you have for the future? 7. Did you join the military? 8. Are you taking care of yourself? 9. Have you gotten better at singing? 10. Have you lost weight? 11. Have you stopped self-harming? 12. Suicidal thoughts? 13. Have you learned to love yourself? I don't know what else to say except that I hope that you are happy, and I mean TRULY happy. You have come so far and I hope you never stop moving forward in life. I love you don't you forget that.

Epilogue

almost 3 years later

1. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Yes, I do have a boyfriend now, his name is Devin and we've been seeing each other for...

A mhont wno buaot. . Ggion nsithg rae llwe. Eb twih him relayl i'm to payph. .
2. Tnireioahslp god?o anaadm iwth is yoru.
,now sye. Gdoo so. Ot a olt seh rowk fo be neod mmo hwere atdoy si sah. Hoeus buyngi trecrynul s'ehs a.
3. Idd woh ?etg naym aersy ecrepsn.
Ogt 3 i yasre he eibleve. Elhl' snoo tuo eb. .
4. Nad sereipdsno your tiaxnye rtea.
Ostm /510 is 501/ as elwl ierspnsedo dsay teyaxni. Tnah erbtte refebo.
5. Uyo ear yap?hp.
S,ey am ho i. I ma flniyla.
6. A ft?rueu hvae eht 'twhsa for you lgoa.
Cseymootglo fsetro dan hria ot dbria atwn csh'elidnr go i ohsolc ot.
7. Ddi i?lyitmar ojni oyu eht.
Vhae no, xnieaty llo tn'od dki uyo sonsprd,iee dan ylufesor.
8. Oyu erca fo e?osyrluf kiagnt rae.
Orst fo. Ot iyngrt. I iwht asw esls 'im etf-shlae guthho, tetber ntha.
9. At you ahev tetgon ertebt nns?ggii.
,hvae i htkin i tseg hear trbete it yda i rveey.
01. ?igethw uoy olst avhe.
Otl a. Relarugly i aws own taubo 130 iittnsg 801 neth i'm ta.
11. Ptdpseo heva fsainlhmrg-e? uoy.
Yes. Mhnots el!can 1 dan erya 6 am i.
21. Isldicau htg?ouhst.
Sa do oecm og tno mh,cu hyet nad. .
13. To veah voel uoy uorylefs? eanledr.
Lnare to 'im woh snrttiag to. . . It bzeere a yerve a yad will eb yulanvteel cniedosi si't. .

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