A letter from September 22nd, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hey dude what's up. how are you doing? I hope everything is going ok. I have so much to tell you. Our heart is still focused on Ryan. It's a toxic relationship, and it doesn't take a genius to figure that out. But, I still really like him, no matter what. He just has something that makes me go back to him. I hope things have changed, and that we either don't like him, or he has ACTUALLY changed. If he is still in your life, take a moment to reflect. I know you're very stubborn when it comes to taking advice, but you can't let some stupid 8th grader (EIGHTH GRADE DUDE, YOURE BLOODY OLDER THEN HIM)take control of your life. You mean so much to a lot of people, whether you believe it or not. Think about Sienna and Reagan and Lin and even your stupid mom and how much they want you to be in a legit happy relationship. It's going to end up all ok, I promise. You just have to stick with it and tough it out. Don't let ***** take you so young, you have a whole life of good people, things, and events that are going to happen. You can't end it because you think that's the only way out. There are so many things you can do to make things better. Now, this will get to you the anniversary of us going to the hospital for the first time. It's ok though, just stay strong and see if you can spend the day with friends or family. Don't get overwhelmed by the fact that it happened, be happy that it's over and you ARE doing better. You had a glow up, got good friends and a hopefully good boyfriend, just stay happy, stay safe, and stay smart. Mom and Dad, even though sometimes they think school is more important then mental health, do understand a little about what's going on, and they are here for you. Plus, you have Andrew, and he's always gonna be here for you, no matter what. And don't forget Anna Claire, she loves you so much and I bet she would be more then happy to spend the day with you if you really needed it. I hope Covid isn't as ******, maybe we found a vaccine! Election day already happened, huh? Did stupid Trump win, or is the country saved? I doubt you're actually moving to England, or I sure hope not. Although, a fresh start would be cool. Well, good luck with everything! Wanna hear about me currently? Well it's that time of the month so I'm very emotional. It's pretty hard to focus on school with everything going on, and school itself is SO STRESSFUL!! honestly, I'm just glad we are passing all (well most) of our classes. But don't worry, you can do this. Talk to mom and dad and your teachers about this, and just remember to stay focused. No matter what petty drama happens, school is important (but focus on your mental health first!). Don't forget to take mental breaks, make friends in actual school, focus and pay attention, and take notes:) If you care and try hard, you will be fine. Well, I'm gonna try to write a story or a song, yes probably about Ryan. After all, he's always on our mind. Ok look, I'm gonna be honest, we aren't very mentally stable at the moment. but that's ok, because we are getting there. Maybe doing things like messing with Ryan or doing DRUGS isn't the best way to go about getting better, but you're trying. You're in therapy now, so that should be helping. I really hope that we are still here on earth and maybe more happy. Do we still have an obsession with slowed music- probably since IT'S SO GOOD! Remember to talk to all your friends, Riley, Anna, Ryan, Lin, Sienna, Chris, Reagan, Jen, Kesha, everyone else. And I hope that they are all doing good (especially poor dylan). I love you and hope that everything is going good. Stay strong babe<3 -Paisley