A letter from July 22nd, 2020

Time Travelled — 12 months

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, how’s life? are you happy? i hope you’re doing well. if you’re not, well... cheer up. i want to see you smile everyday. i mean, i wanna see you smile TRULY. i don’t want another fake smile. i hope you found someone who makes you feel like you’re beautiful and perfect just the way you are, someone who loves you despite all your imperfections and mistakes. i wanna tell you that i’m sorry for hurting you so much. i cared about the opinions of others so much, i never cared about your opinion. i’m not confident right now. i’m not fully healed right now. i’m still a mess right now. and i would like to apologize for that hehe. i hope, you learned how to love yourself by now. hmm, that’s all. iloveyou darling!💗

Epilogue

6 months later

uy hello, it’s almost 2 years na darling. I’m not okay. I started self-harming, which must be surprising for you. you told yourself before, “I would never hurt myself, I...

Owudl het ttah evah evnre do ot verne. ” srma ta uor admedag darcesr all tub and kool o,nw. Fi hvae i i em and ni uoy laeh lwli tigryn thsi eob?emc me etah ot you love you see y?aw htaw m’i uhothg,. Emse yna tiowhtu eebaucs to lefi flluets ivle cnnaise,u nnwaa ayn acnt’ aelh oisen stuj i tub eth wuhttio i ot. Lal teh how era ot ngeori i dan “i jstu hte fi fundo ueory’ eewhr?veyer yuo nwat yuo ksame cterfpe epho e’rythe ayw ewnh to you enmoseo uyo kiel olsmberp meht im’ gineor jstu cfaing sadi utb am fo bfiutelau opsdusep ohw i efle. Flet atht enerv i ”. Dnif m,e layler nmoeose i lliw woh woh voel aisk rfo ma ddnti’ i. Eyllra i uyo bauscee ohw atcpec wnok enev why? ma i nc’ta. To lsee nooeesm pselae ulnbdiig to ekil mteh ist’ m’i ialgktn i’m stuj erweenvh one,smeo. I k,tal ende ohw wlil i cwtah ebal hnwe act aunngapi,t aitnpanug i asy, i cat, lkie tdrei hwta ?me be ,do to ’im to i who atwh i. ’ayso nka’si oitagn “yu od gayna,n gatala kais na nngianiatk hawt sagabni mnaaindg nnamag wlaa ouy wahct. Ko ” agn agwaln intnaikgna eelf aksn’i e. Kao orpe,. Ehty oy,urlsfe rsaiil ko asaisbin as ko ’nt“do ikel act not wlil uoy elki. ” ongna. Nthki ykaa hy’llte ee,sl smeonoe to mi’ pcacet ingyrt, buidl i who. I lytleh’ elvo hwo itnkh. Yfesml cat iglr ,ma i tiaesdn how be i ntwa ekil hisnwog the of earlly aisk i ot hosce ot. T’nod leov i tac if me ihknt i kile oanng oose’snme em. I aersy tusj ot ngeib go bakc dol nwaan 5. Thiw of d’olevuw anrmlo iths i wsa if rlgsuteg nneo dat,iivlona usjt ata,sk i dmcaceai andhepep. Sthi nnwaa dtno’ tbu to be i ekli i shwi orn,lam be. Yaka taht sutj na ot imycdla“lceaa ot dhar ko ”rts,ma ti’s it’s be ntrgiy no peke nidih. Just i aanwn id,e flleaepcuy. .

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