A letter from July 13th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, So like was thinking of ways to vent n shit n rn the wall ain’t cutting it n i got no one. So got in my bag rn and was just thinking bout how I have no one and how I am always the bad guy in every story n how it’s always me that gets blamed n me that always have to face the consequences when I ain’t even do shit and why does it always have to be me who ends our lonely in the end like what the fuck what can I do cuz it’s not like anyone likes me appreciates me or even enjoys having me around and I don’t hvar a reason to live/love anymore because it always turn out to fuck me in the ass n fuck me up why do I have to be the one that always gets left behind like no one asks me for shit no one needs me or wants me and when they do it’s cuz they need something from me like my attention or advice and when I say it I get blamed for being too oblivious like I can’t fucking help everyone for fucks sake and yea Ik I say it doesn’t affect me to my self but it does n I get blamed n bitched if I say shit like tf how’s it my fault if shit affects me but nooo if something effects then it’s a big fucking problem that I have to help solve like tf. Why does it have to be me who doesn’t end out w anyone n who has to change like no one appreciates me for me neither my parents or my friends well expect a few of the boys but still dude like what did I do to deserve this or is this for “character development” cuz I don’t fucking want it I just wanna be happy n I just need someone who needs me as much as I need them n who loves me as much as I love them and someone who makes me a priority n actually makes me feel like one cuz rn everyone makes me feel like the second option not even that in some cases like what the hell I don’t deserve this and then I get called selfish n a problem creator and shit like that but they don’t see n realize what made me react like that and yea they want me to change so be it right cuz I definetky don’t fucking know the best for me apparently so that’s fucking great. Well anyways thx for coming to my ted talk..:(