A letter from June 20th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, 2020 was a freaking catastrophe. The rest of the world feels that way too. A lot of things happened this year... although personally until this month in time I didn't experience anything much cause of Quarantine. I'm still a lazy bum, undisciplined, over-thinking, and overall I still can't control my impulses. My life is still a cycle of 'fearing-for-the-future' > Procrastinate > thinking that it's too late to start (when it's actually still EARLY) > procrastinate more > until I finally manage to do what's minimum just before the deadline. I'm sick and tired of this. I know that I hold great potential yet I'm wasting it. I hate my current self. But at the same time, I need to accept my mistakes and realize. /this is the current me/. And there's no way that I can change myself before being honest with me. I have trouble with consistency. I'm not very consistent with my words, action, nor thoughts. And so... for the rest of 6 months of 2020, I will give you (Myself) homework. Make a schedule. Try and follow that schedule. Use minimal time on your phone. It's better if you don't use your phone at all. Rather than wasting time on social media, use that time to meditate. Journal. Practice piano. Learn Italian (plz). Learn how to cook so you can live abroad. Do whatever mom tells you to do even when your sisters are lazying around. Do the laundry, jemur, wash the dishes, sapu & pel lantai, pokoknya jangan sia-sia kan waktu km gblk!!!!! do your chores!! It's okay to do the work more. It doesn't hurt anyone. So what if you get tired for a while? just think of it as training, ok? as training. If you ever complain or whine remember that future me is really really gonna appreciate you for doing all these things. You wanna know why? cause it's worth it!! Build up the necessary skills for your future self. Even if you're the MC of your life, you won't suddenly get your abilities before actually doing it often. You're not OP, remember that. You're just a human in this not fictional world! Stop thinking that the universe is on your side when it's not! The choices you make... you will have to face the consequences later on. So you better make sure you've made the right choices, no matter how hard it is. Remember your homework. I hope by 2021... you've already changed /for the better/, even if it's just a little bit. love, past me I really hope you succeed