A letter from June 9th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Your birthday is in 9 days. You’re going to be 17. Almost an adult. It’s been a rough year, but you’re still here and that’s all that matters. I hope you’ve grown sm more than you already have in the next year. Maybe you have a boyfriend in the next year? and you graduated early? You’re so beautiful and strong and i hope in the next year you realize that. Max? How’s Max? that was the most important person in your life for a whole year. You loved that kid with ur whole heart, at one point I never thought we would move on..it was so ******* hard, the drinking every night to numb the pain, the countless nights of crying urself to sleep and STILL TALKING TO HIM as if he didn’t break u. It was hard ahah he really did destroy everything for u and he didn’t even realize it, and when the same thing happened to him it was so sad to see it. Is he okay now? i guess he’s never been okay and i understand u wanted to help him so bad but some people don’t deserve ur help. He was one of those people who didn’t deserve it. Please try ur best to let go of him in the next year....but if not are you guys still talking? You gave him everything he ever wanted or as much as u could seeing the distance and he used u for his own benefit, And despite all that you still picked ur *** back up and carried on. Power moves LMAO. Who are ur friends now? Did u drop veronika ? Are u and connor still friends? The twins? How’s nicole? check up on her more she’s been there for u for a long time. Emma? that girl loves u pls give her more time of the day :/ What ended up happening to you and ur twin? i really hope it worked out i honestly rn have sm faith me and him r gonna pull thru bc i deserve to be happy. It looks like it may genuinely work u guys just look like u can learn sm from each other...if it doesn’t work don’t be too hard on urself everythinf happens for a reason but after him fr take a break if it doesn’t work but i really doubt it won’t lmaoo. I’m asking sm questions for future me but i wanted to write this letter to tell you. Don’t let me down. Be strong. Use your voice. Don’t let anyone bring u down or make u feel insignificant. You’re strong. You’re confident. By the time u get this you’ll be 18, Your golden year. An adult. Wow you dreamed of the moment u were free from ur parents grip. but don’t forget your mother shaped u to be who u are today. That is the strongest women you’ll ever meet so give her a ******* hug, buy her some flowers even if it’s ur birthday bro. Shes why u are the way u are. Call and text her as much as u can. pls try and be better for her if anything. Wow i’m starting to cry ahaha. I just want u to have the best next year. Look into colleges, Do the courses ur mom is talking about get ahead stop being lazy. pls. This letter is getting long but have a great 17 in 9 days and an amazing *** 18th. I love you. self love ahahah ALSO love ur brother he’s struggling the most, He needs help ur his big sister. Stop pushing him away cus u wanna talk to ur little boys, Soend time w him. Ur only here for one more year and then he’s alone he doesn’t say it often but he loves u and looks up to you. Help him as much as u can. When u get this letter you’ll be graduated and everything i hope everything goes good. I’ll see u in a year 🥰❤️ Have a great 18th love. You really do deserve it