A letter from May 31st, 2020

Dear FutureMe, This days have been terrible. We're still locked in the house and I cant take this anymore. The president doesnt do anything to keep us safe. I feel like I am in one of those books about a different government and the world is ending. Except that I didnt find my perfect boy and I am not the protagonist of this story. The world is changing. I can feel it. In the US a lot of chaos has made after a cop kill a man. #BlackLivesMatter was never that strong. I took a break with Breno 2 days ago. In my deep I think dont love him the way I should and this is killing me. I miss him so much. But I dont know if I am the right one for him. Am I missing him because I have no one to talk ou because I love him? We fight all the time and I am so sick of this situation. I don't know what to do. I'm crying every day and hurting myself when my anger comes. My brother is driving me crazy. I am so hurt. I dont know if I will be able to get into a college. I dont know what to do if I dont. I want to get into a public college so bad you know. But when I see this letter, one year later, I will know all the answers. Please keep contact with friends. Evermore I am feeling so basic. I decided tomorrow I am going to the drugstore near home and get a piercing. And buy something to change my hair. I feel so ugly. And bored. As that song I was singing earlier "Bored in the house and Im in the house bored" I'm reading again. Today I started "Estilhaça-me". I wish I could read more but Juan is really anoying me. Anyway, hope I will be better by the time I read this. xoxo