Dear FutureMe,
are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)
Epilogue
about 5 years later
hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...
Si anintyhg ive tlerte omre hwen htis nhta inenuge i ftle ewtor nad reve adh eidercvosd luanfgmnei i olev, a vole drolw of atht. Ma sa ,elvo ni elwl i. Hwo operns acn ned a ontd' lkei nda tbu aemk it me what ouy i ltli' u,p wehre taugth i who at eb hvae sah loev anc wnko etlsa eamdr noudf. Nca eoshnt i ym ishgnt aegnb mom elyrla and ptyaher xniayte daemidtt owh hvae am dda dba ubt rnvee i ot ,be aoutb nda. 'tdon aosl otn ythe mcaeiuctmon akem ehty feingsel rretge idd iashgrn w,ell me ym ubt. Ahev i cnoyr otneslyh edia woh no is. Two ot nto'd her i veenr a inthk sa,rye eiv' frate nhirdfpsie adn soormoehp ,erya ksonpe ddneilekr we ni. Pelope ahwt rea ddeenfi n'tddi wonk iths dna i hwen tme own i thta nwe enve hwo ma i woh rotew htey rteaf i. Evner ob"ys i rcyz(a dvoci )craoon htat "the ti allced etfra nad aniag nugh hti uot i. Tyhe unnyf hgohtu ppo up ndouitcen its in ym who ,file ot. Gdtian ghans uyro no dlekne teat uyo ormp dan si bcael ohw tnwe uot tbu ils)tl to to noah het lal iobnyed,fr nabtet ehty ntwe my ofr ac,ef tetreda ihwt mtorm,oea lozeipadog my wiht nwo sa item (nto nwo. Dt'ndi thsi hcsao uermms rtoew eth ttah stap kaem you it. Arnemoy i osdg 'ntdo tllis sism tbu i,mh i klei. I os emrrmebe piodmrev dna to hwta eb arsye, oerv ot omm kiel ym edus it het rhad hmcu tsi. But asd em ti hucm hse seamk ujst on,w sesgltugr who. Dlemo das it ehs is nawt atht i kesma nerev a fo ot be me how. Gdoo iesrmome aws eray tno elabomrem, do ghhi aveh tbu hosloc ytclnerai mrof ehrnafms i. Unrginn efdils nylpaig oghtruh nshgti k,muaoste ,etla rac adn ceiblpllka uto. With fo ni ennirsd nutrk essnsut ubasur and het eth gani. On vrdies spoueal the. Sith that so im wno ti of a but oegn far osnroe i frmo and to eerldpi ishw cksued t,lo ti i dah salo. Ndto' at nsrttgia meosk nyfnu ninodgresic tub l,la ghueon naaig i im. Ist vreo tllsi adn i ,nxsiuao tbu roryw im listl fodo - ywa etbetr ywa,. Adys no ym noregl ti itacdtse. Scseusc rthohug in asekm in seol drpou nto fgohut ahtt i ayw me a ftiah dna olhocs i ddi my. I ,of acphelodsmic gsinht dmreead dan i ot aegtr have wreeh i tog. Trhig to ewkn dolcu ardh swa i tbu wath nay fi i hte ochcei it i - tbse of ubt say sti eivgn ddi onw het. Bnroke leeyatvnlu pnhape my but rhate ,ialewh ni idd ti obdoys'n. Hwit talybueslo hsi veol ni ,jkca be oredfol ttah etbs utb onkw ot iksings sitdnae lfle ndifre yuo of 'uydo. Dd'itn it e,wll feil edn laspy htt'sa ynnfu ubt who elalry out. Anc i ncretur my wveheern i kiss eydrbfion. To me in athw a guy i ofr eenb seh' wlaysa eohpd. Dnuiiglb eerwh n'tod mi' eolv ,wno elov m'i ta wath btu i i. .
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