Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası)
Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER.
I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy.
Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself.
Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong.
Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't.
Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.
Epilogue
almost 4 years later
Dear past me,
Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...
Oyu eaxrl ,1022 can.
E,lgocle eht yo,ranem tdo'n iṁirz ilve in to uro becaesu nrsetpa i medvo ew tdtaser lṅsiuatb aallytcu eray. .
Here's otg ot ni ouy kkneit itg,hn eth so,oo ldıızy. In not udowl teh aws to uoy ntsigh btu gaiemni neve apenph it. . . . Roe'uy hreet ni eganglsua gyusitdn. You oyu erenadl and rnechf wonk ah?tw.
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In you og uory romp a hte limse onigg rouy eiwtr asd udocnl't ot btu ry'oeu wiht moro caef no thsi rnaecf to domr omrf.
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Enams as nya hktin ntuefreq het not eou'ry obaev in itwh of sa yuo ccatton. Eon slto neev you hmte fo. That rthgi sdegsue ):.
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You ynear bsc ,readirm erwe gto to in hte frcane og ouy iwndegd dnu'tocl.
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A she palce ̇lilac sah e,fni is to cleso niu. Wiht teh uyo yuo fo etmh fo niot erohst eb aehc smea owt nerdfi esom teh uoy ou'lwtd ayd tbse niu no'ludct tereh tath eussg but got hte.
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Odog si ögeçkn. Uğalm a in esh eetndr oesuh. Etehr iseutsd utktu twih she. Ry,osr emte id'dnt but ouy hmi yet. Yad seom elsoc btu.
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Mi̇rzi ni eiustsd raiba. O'ueyr tfear ignaa uyo ees tcocant ludnco't to ogt evlea rzṁii ehr ni tub uyo.
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Ayd liwl ouy dueas caaylutl oen ees. Ryou bte i tfca a owbl hsit idnm einbg will. See yuo seeht i ocgimn wokn 'didtn.
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It kngalti ldoc uoy and be itghm onwk weer obtua ewnh i uoy nl̇btsuai dsai. Aids ccalilyeifsp us uoy d'ditnt a,men btu elda and bvleiee i ttha nay eclap rhee. Eurnd egerinfz hte fenarc wheetar hitw rzoe etonrnrh na to. Lcod ciren os mhcu is't nad ??f??tw in be cuaesbe ni to ecfnar.
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Lgtssrueg aephpn. Pedneahp in 5 teh atls ryeas etyh. A,rdh you hda eorwkd mnya anmy too tdrlefi but snbwroedak hwit eoeplp yamn. Of dna tripsea to olst dreic uoy ereith stlo uoy twen btu. Uto rotyunc eeoplp aosl you oyru tog of so you im,messeot ot iefrdsn evmdo adme dbe setb htwi yuo eon of 'odclutn ernhtao sad but. Ahwt tey oyu her kwon evne and dotn' uoy ?iaagn knwo. Vnee is itsh ni i?thgr ni uory ra,esdm tno.
Htrwo ot'nd uyo ceubaes yuo oharent eevn d'otn nikht sa oknw ot btoau rotynuc i a gniog it tiosrut. .
It i,s rowht hte gnhit ouy. You atnh wrryo it,khn oelv 'ondt veen suryofel l'uloy orem. .
Uoy of-e-sayed8rll- spoiniatsd liek ibeevlde ouy ruoy didtnt'. .
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Eugss dietr i yuo yiub,plcl ihus,s yvre it htade uyo. Ouy psoh atth tafre bseueac ntwe the to ldsconma'd het rane ssihu. .
Lil' kchit osno tpu amke anc i omse sa no chotsel rale tfear fro a ngael snow i sa oyu,. Erhe em rehe thorgub lsle it cna i beasecu it ,lnoeogc nlyavloriut iecsn teh >(: emsll eyht i oals ndt'o wtih tlils.
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Odog 19 a,ltlsy dna aws. Aemd fndiers 8 uoy wen ta 19. Tyhe uyo else oot noe on elphed idd ikel. Si oreu'y clseo nw,o 23 22. Sreinf,d utaob mpovire essceull wen slitl nad ot urlofyse euyo'r feli try ngkima reyo'u tills. Oll'yu vuey'o fl,te ubt reyv islpelbua intgh eevr a'thst eth hmuc tmos see.
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