A letter from November 24th, 2019

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, are you happy? I am writing you this because now (that means: a year ago) you were. From the bottom of your hart. You just came back from Nepal, experiencing an exhausting and breathtaking adventure, returning to "normality" with wife 'n kids 'n cats 'n stuff. You've realized quickly: that's what you really love! Your wedding is 6 months ago, you've seen a relationship develop further, you've seen a 9-year-old and a 13-year-old growing in size and personality. You are fully accepted in your new roles as a stepfather and as a husband. And as a cat's litterbox cleaner, of course. Yet you have issues finding your place in the new family setting. At least it feels like that. A bit shaky. But you are at "your place". Right where you stand/sit/lie... You are NOT in question. You are NOT under scrutiny. Nobody will sort you out, dismiss you, drop you. You're loved. So: relax. Chill. Take a deep breath. Or two. Or three... You are where you want to be. Love Your past self

Epilogue

over 1 year later

Looking back in anger...
One year later life had hit me in a really hard way...
Covid-19 hit the dancefloor, I was on short-term work, meaning: no work at...

Lal. Of eaoyrnm buddy thlaeh mien otn a saw.
Eisd ni my ciks eikl etrwa uebt 2 bdyo ot a adh soilgn hapeytr epxsrse ,inks eht otg ftigh skwee hcity ugly s,kwee mtonsh ahbt eht i leik swa gks8 in orf iwht spien an het x4 cki,s dol psnte a)mmiuut,no(e 'eiv het dloc air,nt ,ecsetff ym lnigeav mlusces nhtgi fo etnsrtgh hte nski saw ecnk.
My ihntg rw:ekod the atht seon nloy odvle. . . .
Etpk up vuevsir a hgih lleve iwll ym to on tyhe.
Ifwe evre btes. Pu ksid ni gwnirog a lfabteuui rae ywa.
The 2220 tsill tgihn a fo emmrsu idovc ni is.
As spre brnki si wen on a het fo caycdadni ubt rtpum gnoe a.
Ntakgi iwiiw all is the lapec ni epowr esatdshih rove ,gersrpos.
Illt 7 asyer ealtmci afinl tlef ehcgna.
Itryosh rodipe ni setb veor is manhu.
Hublsilt i all ew frmo eenxepecir msoce het lwil lilst tlyjnoi eht ahtt nrgwo do eenv sftfu.
Adb a irmnoioftan fo ewns fewikorr si. Salva iirnaku.
Erac eertdsrssveo i,csk fo ym ym ekta is rtboehr ot ryingt adde prenats rae mhet nda. Atc'n i hlep uhcm. Eussis usngl sreiosu hiwt ihgnav eht azieiopdtslh.
Nrotfs egtingt is ton eebttr no lal it.
Vloed osen ym ubt. . . Niadtsng rsngto siltl.
Ecebmo a ggoouers afelme nz my beacme in a dhtraegu ot yonug dya,l rruyletnc nuorg-wp gbein.
Emgboicn ons selyucfssclu my a loshco orme adn meor ncefinodt is dngchae dna eeeatgnr. . . .
Ym nad wfei. . . Fo nda aefmel tseb ltlcoeconi evre!.
Reh cmhu vleo so. 2 nmoo neht & - aiang eht back nad.

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