A letter from August 9th, 2019

dear future me, i really hope you're still alive. im about to enter my last year of high school, and i feel like im nowhere near ready to be a functioning adult. i really hope you pull through though. right now im dating lexi, we've been together for about 2 months now. god, i love everything about her. her hair, her eyes, her smile, her personality. shes perfect. i dont really know what i want to do with my life. movie production sounds cool but im not sure how itll turn out. but to be honest, i dont think ill be alive that long. as of now, my suicidal thoughts have been creeping in again and it's just getting worse by the day. but ill try to stay alive, for us. i want you to read this and say to yourself "im so glad im still alive." and i want you to experience life. meet lexi, graduate high school, go to college, etc. i dont want to take that away from us. but im strong, i know i am. and no matter how much it hurts, ill try to stay alive for us. for my future self. i wonder if flea is still alive by the time you read this or gran, papa. mom or corey or daddy who knows what can happen, maybe theyll all die the day after i write this anyway, if you're reading this im so incredibly proud of you. you made it, you survived, and you're doing fine. i love you, and i really hope things are better in the future. love, your younger self p.s. is chris pratt still hot? bc god i hope he is