A letter from April 25th, 2019

Peaceful right?

Dear,, me? Hey. So I guess by the time this is getting delivered were gonna be graduating in 6 weeks, alex is in the same place you are right now, were going to her graduation soon, I'm pretty excited, I'm sure you're excited too huh? But pretty scared I'd imagine, I wonder what we decided to major in, right now I'm still thing political science or biomedical engineering, still havent ddecided what school though, we have so many options it seems, it's really something me and alex should sit down and talk about, alex and us just hit our 7 month, I love her so much, at the moment were still struggling with everything that happened with holly, still very much scared of a lot of things, but I'm really really trying to fix it, I hope it's all better where you are, I'm sure it is right? As im writing this im sitting on the cold, dirty band floor next to Kelsey, we had to leave guard, but it was probably for the best right? I love, we love almost everyone here,, just,, things dont always work out, even if you love them, it makes me sad but I hope next year will be fun even without them. Oh yeah!! We got our first job a couple weeks ago, we havent gotten our first paycheck but I'm excited, I still owe logan a $60 game (to get him out of the house so alex could come over ;)lmao) I think I'm going to spend the first one on fun stuff but then save my 100s, me and alex wanna get a place soon after I graduate, hypothetically i should make about 600 a month, i guess you know how well that actually worked out huh? I still wanna eventually work for starbucks, cause i can transfer to a store in any state with them, plus they have good benefits for when I'm an adult-adult, alex just got a promotion at her job, so hopefully we should make enough to move away, I hope far far away, but I'll be okay even if it's just to Austin or some other city away from, everyone and everything, our past lives. Hopefully we took that trip with her to California, got to visit Sara and Beth and nicole and grandma! Maybe we decided it was home, I hope we found home zaria. we have a little over a month until we get to go to Colorado with alex! I hope it was fun! I'm sure it was, I wish you could write me back and tell me all about it, I'm so excited. Jades being a bitch but what's new? Shes just a shitty person, and i know shes trying to get better but shes still a shitty person, keeps forcing me to drink and i dont wanna, among other things, today she told me I dont live in the moment, I think i do I just like to feel prepared for the future, I hope I did enough, maybe I'm not worrying enough, I'll fix everything, I'm sorry dont worry, I'll make sure everything is set up for you, for us, through and through (sorry that song just came on, by khai dreams!) I wish you could write me back zaria, I feel like you know so much more that i do, but knowing me,, probably not. I'm sure everything right now, for you, is scary and exciting, were really about to, start life for real for real, free trial is over, time to actually,, do things, I dont know what things, but i know you'll figure it out. You and alex? Come on, were an unstoppable team, you're going to figure everything out, we have it, I know were smart and resourceful enough to live wherever we decided to go, I know you're going to be amazing zaria, were going to do amazing things, even if you dont feel that right now, reading this, know you are, were going to be successful and happy in the long run. Give alex a kiss for me would you? I miss her♡ I love you zaria, be you soon -17 year old zaria, at the end of her junior year

Epilogue

over 2 years later

Hey little me!
We are so so happy!
we found home :)
Sorry I didn't get this letter till we were almost 21. You set us up so well!! you...

To eb dnee rgoniryw eatgr a oyu ubt ddi cmuh tiddn' ,boj os. Ew iaauntgrdg doalcroo odn't nsgeakpi phsaepn veale tmeh you edn fro si & h(icwh rryow, yuo nciegptex it wn)o !ehte!r tr'nae inpxo/gitcepngeh teh reew fberoe job aerly o,f btse ,rof yuo oevsm hiwch( teh not lclatyau onwk adn ouy tfaer het egt ouy lowdu uyo serya miayfl otw het i tern'ew konw tis !!eon) eicdmnpa thta we vemo i ict,xgnpee lsao pr,ti gtirh ssmi (i uev)visr hwat tath wheol mhuc, too nwko hgirt pu but rafet nda.
Tuo ahtw ex,dceept ew ta i vmoe otn ew vree 18, knwo. Erew ,giana a sa /1211 otn atstr r'etna mraeadbsrse iugns n,aec rlleya bad ew we as ew sikc utb yuo tge enwh. No frtsi tath ohwle us fo rou exla taeks eary nwo earc. Essh' tebs toms reve eth hntig zimngaa hte ot to no,spre ephpan us. Atnh yaer eradm of eevn hte a,rdh orofl arerdh os atth on abdn fitrs gntisti oyu is cna. Lwil it thta dna raptmntea yuo got aysd tub tarhdes eaxl urohght utghohr amek ltetli the fo ti i h,oreegtt fo. .
Did ni ttsra ot latuyacl sheto neo mdae ho!!an emov we ,leshsmoe keil ymrpalrii we we 15 htiw eht tsju ta tc,iy gn,iaa fo sda!y saw 91 hewn ftiopr we nno adb nda rhad iekme at tbu whhic egt ardh teh a grikwno coech,i uhrohgt ni it gihpnle wer'e and a. N,ow smnoeoe aenm eht is rmynaoe not ew acuallyt ot dmane owkr ysa rdha olhly adn ithw. Lyhlo idd sepela ,deamga twih eajd tosp tou ,user esom but hgingan. Ahtw hs'es tingsh enod eht heotr ahtt oknw i era. Cesepa ot aryle taregaud llwi ouy.
Ccnotat einbg rea so eattss to sleoc dan no ouy ywaa. Ti's get utboa drha to tub. Is dahr orwth ti btu gdo the. .
Yphap yda rea won ew yeevr. Ahev to to evrey etxn giosnmrn we nda up orkw kile yda hegrteot gedaii,mn ridev nad aekw ongimnr yeerv aelx we toms ate kaetsrbfa we.
Is neotds' it ,71 y//lelar tihrg 3 tahroen lefi etreih dahr ta won rryos im' seray rfo gte gdoo. Seyra, oehst hetre htye 3 ortwh adb ear so rea ogdo utb asdy nyma it in. .
Dna rae you am,et stlli hrg,it lxea ouappntelsb an are oyu ew ear. .
You nad avhe a ohteergt a act g,od. Fo aerxnoia 6 wkee, ew nidern ihtnsg eth nad chrstac frmo yeamron gsureglt ocok 'ontd htwi. We nipat iltsl. .
Was rcy rgdau tboua btu ofr evnilga eth uyo lilw ti se,bt. Yremltneae ruo uoy rvyeeeno i shiw scoolh oelrcs tnatcco teh iwth btu petk ytolms tea,m tseoh ni no rfom. Tuhhog dton' 'eruoy hwti eepplo ek,ew eht tlatsae lcsetos a 2x hte kalt ,rorwy lslti on oyu emta to x6 yluusla tow. .
Ni ntex hvea veah ew it hocsol to bveeiel the ft!usf ay!er wn'ot trgintsa you aer neic acbk eenv utb vrnee we ,it now ftca o,nw obuat tuhtgoh adn uoy our oondc. Lipnaach re'ew anngilnp egibn a on. Were oarlintitda we a rafte osryr hirgt ggoin to otn ilek oclhso lecogel butao nnniapgl. Do !tuh!hgo giamzna 4 you. Dan rhg!it staht' is the cipdnmea milyaf sles and sa 60 trsats no apg 71, dan ianlgpnn taubo utb elss gecoell ta teh rues ()your we !!ryaitdbh guraeadt borfee tge vognmi ew. Mthe rof soyrr os so uor you kow,n ynam aimnmderocenot we m'i srtetle opailpaitncs fo (i scarp tog. A -ae-ry era,sy adn cdidee seinc ) ta ll,we a cdeied 3 pga no pag 02 we. Epsut ciwhh uaesresr oyu dan oulwd knthi i. .
Shepl utsoied fo exal utsdeio slpeh su fo fdin oyu mci,dseaac iaaldivtno feli dfin tmhe. Oyu sh be vonvelid 'ondt era rof puesr ew woh vaeitc in utb kwno i efle liwl edesat ta colosh, yuo. Ohw rlgi, oen tub csubl lal idvvlnoe l?csa?s 5 gdidn,ik rae era ap oyu rcioh, ,rthtaee uyo and ru(lisyeso bn,da. ).
,arshecet tpha veol teg a si ilaglcn ogign ew ubsecea tbu iwert raovappl we in tgexi,nci eeusabc ont etreh dna bkca eilk hcolso fo a ef,li to syases to and tub elrca ehva ew ot eth onduf. .
A ew ggnoi lianahpc to eocemb rae. .
To wtdean rkow ntsyruid fro hte ti tub ot evha yawsla eahtd dsirnytu alaswy in wsa gngio su, too you. Treih own ilwl hte phle inydg to be labe nda ilaemisf ew hotetegr. .
Pouhfel nda uyo ew weerh 3 flil ohtghur oomd enxt rseya, pdesite ryt syda ayst eth lilw.
Nedsifr ni we yuo ,kyao huht,go !on!w kaem ylon eryoeenv tbu rea drisfen wthi dlho them ohw tog wen no we 5 sat'th kiel ot ot amoslt.
Tyllrli,ae ttha omor hw,it yuo iwelh rtwnigi teh to nseoem,o ew are em ni hist loes. To teher on ywa is erperpa. Aeiers ti ew sltli rea vg,riegni is tub.
To ktlaign lsee snmoeeo oot post ew. Sims ew erh stlil. It tkinh is yuo owh.
Ew so happy eolvlar era thoes tub os ltlis trh,u. .
Ot ufture cmuh ofr it t'is ew wkor otn too rrwyo nwo uro llsit het dlaiy we ppr)eaedr tbuao sul(p dog,o errliteb be btu no.
Are tenx shti ew rea arye be im' illw but trtebe wlli ew be extn we hmcu uesr ulfl so onw! of this hatn sloa meit ures ngshaelc,le rgthi atth aery.
!you i evol wnyaya,.

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