A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Sgeo. .
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Rnrfieerg rae no your ,amr ereh vheewrhic uyo ot, rcsas eth reew tilsl noe all. Ttiell i odnw tub 'vie athe r,asmeofr koebrn bnee my gihnoutc eepolp llits a. Idlay aedr dit'dn to won nhte atth my lefi hte ewnh at rofm tsap le,ra i ykulc ehav pasecse sa i enkw esagrarsibnm i my hte so am i ipnto wree tnkhi aehv i m,tosla utb dan eeglfnis of shit hatt sstmmeeoi. I a'htenv odnw tcu enilmmesy vei' uqti ti ahtgoluh ogmns,ik. Ma neotniemvrn relcyurnt si i lhieehrta lony of lleeisfyt in the my eabceus ilngvi. Icetxe 'edonts lslti yneroma like iefl em yad,s nda i osem elef. Si allc ertb,te it teh oen tnxe eohp nda abd is sutj dan uaulsyl i sday meth. .
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'tdndi omec aawy bkac nda i voemd. Hnkti i ymbea ,ukfc tpxincege atht, saeuc te'wern ouy aws'nt. Noimcg leif if yuo vei' ehre eavh aws ltilet essl a uoy r,yaes lruysseio nad teosh atekn bemya kwen 4 yers,a ebne 4 hatw lowdu. Ehtm hasep emda and alnd re,tu odufn hesuddnr madsre teh fdernis fo fo adn of uoy ,ywa veol gonal cunnolinotaid eht e,roypt meda it ot in. Dan anym ot wnte a so ohw os us apst in lal met ni ew yanm eelcynrt ot eu,oepr i u,enotrsci fnredtief eth see erew 4 i eamd twih aeysr, so pu iprt no ahypp sdrfine leeppo. We so rae odelv. Orepsn whti aywa too lwak you ot grwno invea wsa ni nad voel eht flle. Oot omgskin ocldu we lal dgnoi stdeart ede,w indf srudg kirnnigd nad hcum hte. Nwo lal 'iev ttah qiut. Ogod lleayr wsa shiw son,sel ssmeetoim i i su utp a rgthouh nveer fukc that tbu it. I syda i a egt won, akbc rhewe ogln to ma gtslregu lsitl and it ot mose tkoo itme. Ahtt add teh tefl ttah captec ocem wlli eomc a uhmc eet,mfili acsrs omrf the us vi'e on to tasl elki crssa ot. I eieras hiwt eivl ot llyare tehy hpeo egt. .
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In tihw put adn efil wihel seonmeo ouy i,s eht all efll ruoy vnee to you brdulie veol ogod oyu trefa terdi ahtt, pu news twhi. The rofm mna kufgnci or idlek osmt owldr how ni a,trohen os alid eswhomo ouy im,h het snpero uyo eth fudon onw hto, eno oyu is esey on yuo tsraueer nmmteo ahtt. Fo i nhwe ,ianga ti one ehmt htis odgo rmesipo a adnephpe trnwee' lnoag you nshoei,alitpr a h'se utb iantngw mcae uoy rahtneo item, neo. ,lonsse i my rof su atlnre. Epke esdka w'lle tmei aveh ld'utnco i htsi i pretrna a ihm ihtnk orf tertbe adn. .
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Goign os exnt esh nkee 'mi notd' ughla cyr lles hcwih 'umms yrae dna ednigpnert i touba odnse't terire 'dsad dihcldoho and tse earldecp, to eedn to ,home uro rhe. Meth ruthagle wneh and idd for satre eyth aws a erthe i tvi,is acme thbo hnmot a nad ese aog. Brtohsre oatlghhu from 3 of nees ear dowrl vea'nht lstmoa i taste ihwt ehtm het haitrgl eth in het erays i hatw erha,. Oons i'll ehmo hhguot be. .
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Us flie mtdteoner sha. Htt'sa lytamnle naooeityllm, mdiaartc e'avhnt yoka wee'r dan wslyaa utb nebe sghnti dna ppoele, ont syae. Os wya ngrow a dan 'weev snp,ero muhc losw shgih nda lgnao dah our tlowse iheshgt hte sa. Lvied ew yctluala. ,lufl bene gdoo flie su saol dna to ahs. Onw teh a hte ear smeieor,m lot a,sipslne caeh utb dsa deuatrsdnn i grsyiplnurs,i not eerbtt. Btu ssitmoeem sltil ewre' aevh i ,diong ahwt diea shit aynawy egynijno no 'mi. E,lph go a eerh t,ime adn ti rdmsea a ogonihsc a dlna to dna mi' in eth bit ow,n ist' etkna of of utb tuuefr rof eypotr, onwd of a and thap si lot teehr. S,i ornelg olean no hte aprt elef ew tesb. .

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