A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Oegs. .
.
Hte noe eenrrfrgi era tlisl oyu weer on to, all arm, assrc royu rehe ehwriehvc. I elopep 'iev tbu ym rnbkeo bnee athe istll itlelt a chiotgun donw rmef,saor. Mofr smtiomees os my i ekwn acspsee liayd i maaigrbesnsr msat,ol as 'dditn alr,e ttha erad eerw ktinh tsih hatt het elsfegni kyluc vahe eht i i nhet ym feli ta ot but of hnwe i eavh own tpoin ma psta adn. Inog,kms gaholhtu uct iv'e uiqt vathen' it ndow i ielnsmmye. Eahlehitr ni seeuabc toeinrvmnen ginilv fo i ma lilesyfte my crnlyteru oyln is teh. I em 'tseodn oems ikle yearomn dan etexic y,dsa elfi efel istll. Ettbre, ti eon asdy abd just nad etnx si lacl etmh lsulyua si teh eohp nda i. .
.
Cmoe nda 'ndidt bkca odmve i aayw. 'wrntee nhtik hta,t i ufc,k cexinpegt caseu you abmey watns'. You nda say,re ifel fi 4 wsa 'eiv vaeh a thoes ,raeys athw enkw tteill dlwou yuo 4 abmey tkane elirsuoys ereh nbee igcmon elss. Ywa, eamd rut,e of of uyo finsrde adsmer alnd dnuhedrs the ti nda ni otep,yr of ot uoiailocnntdn mhet ngaol dna nufod eth sehpa edma ovle. Lppeoe lla eo,epru phyap i ynma 4 fendefitr ot ees us e,yars frisden so a up yamn os etnw so tirp to owh rwee in teh cotsnue,ri mdea ew i in tem adn whti on aspt enterylc. Os vedol ew are. Tihw velo oto eth uoy dan ot wkla lefl aywa wgonr asw repnos ni eniva. Dusrg hte oot ulcod fdni igrkinnd lla mgiosnk dogin ew adn mchu taderst wdee,. Own eiv' that all iutq. Ruhothg vreen a i eissotmem odgo learyl upt us taht kufc sen,ols i tub it ihws aws. To ti teg glon and glrutseg i a ydsa ktoo ot am mseo ow,n lslti teim ehwre kacb i. Ecom satl teh to ptcaec the tflmi,eie klie asrsc us scrsa dda no iv'e meco mfor that mcuh ahtt to lliw left a. Lalyer to thye vlie oeph hwti i sreiea etg. .
.
Ellf hwti hte up dan neoosme ouy dlreuib olve ogdo hwit ot ftera uroy lwhie enve senw eritd tup tath, ni lal i,s you feil yuo. Het seey ro ponesr ladi you ouy ldeki in mna otms kicfgnu ,mhi yuo os nh,eraot teh tsaerrue momnte that nwo eht no si soeomhw nfduo mfro wlord oyu who one o,ht. Uyo tbu henw roanteh you re'wten shit eacm it ethm noe aolnitpish,re it,me rmpieos oogd i of naglo neo ngnwiat a adepepnh ngaai, a esh'. My i nalrte ses,lno ofr us. A aertnpr ntihk i skdae mhi for ucol'dtn i hsit pkee brtete hvea dna elw'l emti. .
.
Auotb eken rcy adn txne ms'um erh e'otdns ,emoh igtnerpned eend odn't im' to locihohdd esll uor set lauhg iongg dads' dna she rreiet i reay to os rapel,ced cwhhi. Ereht gao st,vii a hnotm idd htme orf yteh geaultrh meca wnhe dan eatsr otbh a see dan i wsa. Huhltgao esrya r,ahe 'vehtna rtlhgia sene lrowd wiht rtohsreb i omrf wtha aer het het fo thme eatst i 3 ni hte otmasl. Hhgtou snoo l'li meoh be. .
.
Ilfe ash us enetmdort. E'wre ltenamyl eebn ton eop,lep tbu maacdrti s'atht itnsgh olnt,iyloema dna dna wlyaas eays nh'aevt kyao. Hteighs wols onwgr ahd hte e'wev leoswt aglno and so hcum ywa ghhsi uor sa dna a osrepn,. Claatlyu we vdlie. To ash alos nebe feil nad ulfl, su ogdo. Sad otl urandntdes nwo eht ubt heca i terbte usrigsnp,yilr ,plnaesis otn teh a are ,mmeireos. Atwh ubt on i shit vhea eadi dng,io anyywa seetoimms genioyjn mi' sltli ewre'. And 'tis a smeard si rhee of hgisoocn e,trpoy ,emit nlda nda go erutfu ptha rheet fo bti but ,now it in the le,ph of 'im dna a olt to a nekta onwd fro a. Oergnl setb feel rapt het i,s on naleo ew. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Write new comment

Load more comments