A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Geso. .
.
Rniergerf ryou eerw eon o,t cssar ear wceihrehv lal hte ,mra on lslit yuo reeh. Rsmoearf, lsilt but eonrbk ie'v dnow i teillt been eepopl a oinhcgtu ym ehat. Tspa le,ar hknit i tbu sesceap eavh newk i nad at onipt mols,at kuylc htat file am as tnhe liady egsflnei dn'tdi ym wehn of adre ewer ihst to the i so vahe ssgmbiaarner the tieomsesm nwo i omfr i ahtt my. Othgluha it eiv' ituq i hvnet'a ndow cut lmnyseiem mso,kngi. Ma i onyl het lsfeeilyt baueces nrmeintvneo is ym fo in lhatrehei rnyletcru livnig. Etexic i em flei eikl efle msoe esontd' adys, nad ltisl mnyerao. Nda clla is adn teh eno is asluuyl etnx ti i eetbr,t dab jtus epho meht days. .
.
Nda cmeo i ayaw idnd't acbk devom. Uoy fkuc, at,th 'erwten i ants'w geitcxpne mabye khnit saceu. 4 ntkae a,ersy hoets hawt ary,se you fi lefi ocnimg swa a less wken 4 neeb dan uldwo erhe ehav usiyrelos yuo bymea ltielt 'vie. ,ptryeo daln fo fdnersi shpea wa,y gonla leov to sdurnehd of in esrmda rtu,e fo eadm thme lndoocinitaun ti teh uyo nad fundo and eamd het. Lla i made in so ot ayhpp 4 eht ot emt ew a tspa su dan myna rlnyetce twen ,eeoupr see on so in so who defsrin hiwt i irpt trdefefni eewr ns,toriceu a,erys lpepeo pu aynm. We rea os veodl. Eht to ovel nevia saw yaaw yuo ni with too lwka ognrw elfl nad oenspr. Diong iginkndr too dnif dewe, docul nda lla mchu hte rdgus ew satdert omgnsik. Lal itqu won i'ev taht. Su veern tbu i s,snloe odog rllyea hthgour ckfu ti a eoistsmme saw tpu i wihs thta. To a lgeurtsg egt adsy item iltsl rehew i ookt ma nlog to dna smoe w,on i it akbc. Het sracs eht ie'v to iekl add ctcape eeti,fiml us cmoe slat uchm on atht lwli to atth morf ecmo lfte a srsca. Ehop egt ot reaeis lrayle hyte i thiw vile. .
.
Is, eth eevn oyu up uyo uyor love lhiew wesn uoy ilfe t,tah ithw ptu ni iwth artfe uirbedl adn lal dietr sneeoom gdoo ot lefl. Eht os uyo si eon ufnod ro het tho, yese rdlwo ueaertrs m,ih ormf how n,ohater omeoswh eth adli you wno you oenmtm mtso ni eprnso ttha amn cfugnki yuo edkli no. Wneh osiprem you rewnte' sthi gania, palrnsohiite, a 'she nngiwat ppenhdea rethoan i noe a ogdo ehmt noe of etim, alnog ti emac uoy tub. I us my anlrte nssloe, ofr. Asekd nthik i ntdul'oc aertnpr ew'll eekp heva dan a item i isth eettrb him rof. .
.
Ayer ntxe nggio so lels 'usmm atoub oendts' dtrninpgee and enek i dnee yrc ,eohm seh aldrp,eec s'dad rteeir dtno' 'mi our uhalg to whhci ets hre nad ioolhcddh ot. Ehtm and nweh aog rehte onhtm erats obth ahlretug amec idd rfo i a ese htye a dan wsa v,siit. Whti astet i grhtail ldorw omrf eth htwa n'ehtva tgohulha ohrbsert teh 3 rae ha,re smolta i eesn of in het yesar mteh. Onos l'li emho be hguoht. .
.
Feil nttroeedm ash su. Po,lepe iatdmrac btu eneb lletyamn dan ,ltyioleoanm t'hsat kayo 'ewer tno lawasy nad nihgts seya atn'vhe. Oslw esthhig we'ev het rou dna wtelso hda repn,os adn nrogw a laogn awy ucmh so as gsihh. Ivlde we tclualay. Fiel dan su eben sah to doog ll,fu sola. Utb chea now i aer the otn sda ,alssnpei desnruantd het olt ,srmmoiee eterbt a ur,slyigsinpr. Eyjginon m'i vhea msoeiestm lslti what i wnaayy rewe' idgn,o eiad ubt htsi no. Mdresa wno, a nda a ereh of it 'tis ni og to trfueu mi,te rt,ypeo lot nda nad phat bti a the rfo adln p,elh cognihso a of fo akent rhete wndo m'i si ubt. On feel nerogl oanle ,is etsb hte rpta we. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Write new comment

Load more comments