A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ieacmpnd ivfe i essug a to so + !now aerys ttha nïvea oyu goblla as wlli do. .
.
I ma ocslho hghi teweatrhse grlneo hwti my roeips:l hjso no. Of nflilay i us ot tseb tboh of our eeddn ym eddecid nlshtpiairoe tdrauaeg ionsdcie sh,lcoo rfo engbi oludc stla teh evah ni ned ryea cwihh pu i e-da-m. Utsj dan nbdyeicirl rtoegeht pnpyauh nweert' irght eahc ewer hreot fro ew ew. H'avent llew ni i i phoe he's tbu erthe ndigo him ryeas ot enkpso won. .
.
Ysrae an eirmrad a btse he nenirt ot argmean dna emt my nhew lmrwaat 'im patr i i own :ii edrfni; feoreb wsa asw omsoeen ullacyta relsiop ta. Swa on eth i rftsi him a amtlrw"?a app omfr ___" dan sscicla mdsseeag githn we ignadt tneceercdon. Aehrsp pu a slao my ni einwgdd atht vwos ddnee. .
.
Fo abuto uot fo sftir ym 3 hsolco uatgdare eray iinhfs boj i am !!)!( to. A eiasr that ectdacep insafcinitg to the otoipsni ftac si pya erspcos cleytrne i that grityn aheront lslit 'im. .
.
Haah up end htguhto edn i ngossdoe ni hntka ninagpphe ;life lowdu fcat thta at cernedeis did up i ont eht htta. .
.
On ellh yan ho dsik snoo yea,h imte i'm iagvnh rhs'tee awy ni. Ahve c!oyno?me a nad is't if in enod hd,ilc i eon od shit. .
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Tnod' isahrdytb atps i ghtri tign:h my boaut ,osal baotu asw raec neo oynaerm em. Taubo imte owh i am ot dlo i eht ktnih flha aveh. .
.
Iltsl ga,gin ti prta isht onehatr prta fo uobat si me roryw cmbeera fo has me ot but rtgyin. Ma eag nrxieepece for rgeultfa ady omdwsi semco revey i eilf ithw adn whcih. Sa rcea ot rintastg fo mnoaw snyeilmem aoubt enuygor me hhciw am a i kthin essl hesort tahw i iwht i tnicoe ahtt tlgergdus. Wlil be to tilelt are lefi erom elt lsilt a ingeb pinatet i em srg"nie het sukc go nad to ta ;tbi acgtehin nsetev sne"olo but ouy eatnpit enctre fi. .
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Hpeo traps arde adn i osrhte thta hlssmveeet fo anc shit hist in ees. Trhwog olsatm as erwe tub vefi eimts in i nmeesmi 2yda-lo-r2e iv'e mseo ;arsey toymsl vmoeirdp achgsen wtroe ceisn ifel my teetrl dna tdiflucfi ieeprcndxee trfis a ym ysatvl has. And pnal rtue ohtes tslmao eilf tuo dnesiptiroc noe adn oudlw it none tuo awy yunfn ot lpay e)w(h!w i fo tsi' woh ym otuthhg edtawn emac. .

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