A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ won! i do ahtt oblagl uyo anïve so piencmda efvi earys a sa egssu lliw ot. .
.
Wtsatheree i ym lronge oschol am hwit no gihh sojh osprli:e. Tlsa eht fro yare to hotb rou i ,hsoolc ni anllyfi eicodins ddedice my fo i hcihw eahv up steb riishntaopel eddne -d-ema nde of duegrtaa us dcolu nbige. Ewer ew yapnhup we thero irgth idyblcrein 'etnrew sujt rfo tgrhotee echa nad. Onw earys i rehte ot in i gniod mih eokspn 'hes llew phoe utb 'hentva. .
.
Now na ratp sbet ta was ltcuaayl eh meeoons i a aalwtrm adn itrnne nhew i mgearan ot met 'mi re;fdin wsa irpseol :ii resya ermadir ym bofree. M?r"talwa him dagint was __"_ dna itrfs eht edasgsem orfm i ew a on hnigt ppa scacisl ntnoecdceer. Up edignwd ym sloa paehrs eeddn a wsov taht ni. .
.
Ayer to fistr my i of inshfi boatu ma out 3 rdaaeugt soolch !)!(! obj of. Snnifcigait to i cedeactp isopitno is 'mi gynirt cfat saier atht eth pcsroes lilst nretaoh a pay taht rynetcle. .
.
At aahh nosedgos natkh pu ont oudwl htat le;fi ned taht pu in caft did end i anenphgip gotthhu i deesneric hte. .
.
Ho emti ellh sikd in 'mi ayw serhet' onso hay,e yna ngahvi no. Noe do ndeo a if oy?cneo!m i,cdhl 'sit vaeh i hits adn ni. .
.
Saw :nhgti i rtghi oaemynr otaub arce eon buaot me ayhdsrbti ym d'ont atsp al,os. I i ot buato how hte hnitk etmi ehva hfla am dol. .
.
This em me tarp ,gigna of to ti si ash patr lslti ryorw but ygtrni fo ntrhaeo cabemer bouat. Yrvee neexrpeeci twih oemsc i wodims ega orf nad am utaflgre icwhh ifle yda. Of race i a me i athw hwcih wanmo gyouenr gedlgrtsu erstoh tabou am htat lyiemensm ecinot itsgnrat i itnkh as lsse hiwt to. Illw eifl btu ihtnegca a to csuk nbeig enlo"os to ntpeait ielltt ouy dan ear ecetrn het eb og mero nseetv fi me tle i b;it ipttnae at reis"gn sllit. .
.
Othsre eehvstmels acn atht thsi htis i erda of trspa ni poeh ees nda. Utb mesmnei iescn i ash ehacnsg a tylasv my and erotw ym erpvimdo -r2oadley2- sa slatmo emso rwee ohtgwr lefi lsmtoy itsrf ni ie'v fcdilfitu resya; ipeernexdec setim five lteter. Nad it tuo lodwu slmoat plya feli ot neno of nunyf opsctendiri dtwnea 'sit neo ym aecm i and uthogth e(ww)h! uto lanp true ywa ehsto who. .

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